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5 Reasons teens are avoiding church (십대들이 교회를 회피하는 5가지 이유

십대들이 교회를 회피하는 5가지 이유* 이 글은 Faith Experience에 Shane Raynor가 기재한 내용을 간추린 내용이다.

* 출처: Shane Raynor, Faith Experience  

* 옮긴이: 김영주, 미국 연합감리교회 공보부TN

 

 

통상적으로 십대들이 교회를 가지 않는 이유를 너무 바빠서라고 믿고 있지만, 사실은 그렇지 않다고 한다. 너무 바빠서 교회에 갈 수 없는 사람은 사실 없다. 바빠서가 아닌 우선순위의 문제라는 것이다. 그렇다면 교회가 그들을 잃고 있는 이유는 무엇일까?

 

1. 십대들은 하나님께서도 교회에 나타나지 않으시기 때문에 그들도 교회에 오지 않는다는 것이다. (Teens don’t show up because they don’t think God is showing up.)본질을 잃은 청소년 그룹이 아무리 여러 가지의 활동을 한다고 해도 그들이 이런 것을 통해 하나님을 만날 수 없기에 그들은 교회를 떠나고 있다.

 

2. 십대들은 그들의 부모가 교회를 우선시 하지 않기에 그들도 교회를 우선순위에 두지 않는다. (Teens don’t make church a priority because their parents don’t make it a priority.)부모들이 교회를 세상의 다른 일들보다 중요시 하지 않는데, 그 자녀들이 교회를 중요하게 여길 것이라 기대해서는 안 된다. 스포츠 게임이나 공부에는 집중하라고 하면서 교회로 인도하지 않는 부모들에게 친구가 되려고 하지 말고 진정한 부모가 되어 주라고 충고하고 있다.

 

3. 자기들끼리 연결될 수 있는 방법들이 있기에 십대들은 더는 교회를 의존할 필요가 없다. (Teens are very connected to each other now and don’t need church to hook up anymore.)핸드폰이나 인터넷으로 서로의 안부를 묻거나 일상적인 대화가 가능한 요즘, 그들은 교회에 친구들과 만나기 위해 나올 이유가 없다. 교회보다 더 친근함을 느낄 수 있고 더 나은 공동체가 될 수 있는 매체가 더 많아졌다는 것이 슬픈 현실이다.

 

4. 교회에 다니지 않는다고 특별히 교회에 다니는 이들과 다를 게 없기 때문이다. (Unchurched teens see no significant difference between church kids and everyone else.)교회에 다닌다고 해서 특별히 다른 점이 보이지 않기에 그들은 교회에 가야 할 필요성을 느끼지 못한다. 교회에 다니는 사람들이 완전할 수는 없지만, 그들은 교회에 다니면 삶이 변하고 세상과 다른 무엇이 있을 것을 기대하고 있다는 것을 의미한다. 하지만 현실은 그렇지 못하다.

 

5. 작은 것들을 중요시하면서 관계성이 없는 일들에 열심인 교회들에 많은 십대들이 질려있다. (Many teens get impatient with churches that major on the minors and try too hard to seem relevant.) 요즘 유행하는 십대들의 우상이나 드라마, 패션을 언급하거나 설교에 이용하는 것만으로 십대들을 이해하거나 그들에게 다가갈 수 있다고 생각하는 것은 옳지 않다. 그들을 완전히 이해하지 않은 채 그저 방법으로만 사용되는 것들에 아이들은 질려 한다. 나중에 기억도 하지 못할 한 때의 유행이 마치 교회의 본질인 것처럼 포장되어서는 안 된다. 교회 안에서 어떻게 하나님과 연결될 수 있는지를 가르쳐 주지 않는다면 교회는 이들을 잃게 될 것이다.

 

5 Reasons Teens Are Avoiding Church

The daily newspaper USA Today recently published an article detailing why teens generally don’t “go to church”. While the article makes some good points, Shane Raynor disagrees with the article’s take and offers five additional reasons why many teens have failed to make “church” a priority. In my opinion, Shane hits the nail on the head.Shane’s suggestions:* Teens don’t show up because they don’t think God is showing up.
Our desperation to be “hip”, “current”, and “relevant” has often resulted in a shallowness that must be offensive to Jesus…shallow preaching, shallow music, shallow language, etc. The truth is that depth matters; relationships matter. Ministry is more than simply pizza and volleyball…

“Sooner or later, everyone wants substance, and if it isn’t there, they’re going to bail. There’s always going to be a church (or someplace else) with better pizza, a more talented band, a better gym and bigger crowds with hotter people. It’s okay to use draws, but you’d better have a good foundation for your ministry and back up the draw with something real.”

Teens don’t make church a priority because their parents don’t make it a priority.
As in every aspect of life, we lead by example. It is crucial for parents to be involved in worship and ministry if they desire to see their children involved in worship and ministry….weekly…daily.
Additionally, parents must begin to say, “Sorry; worship of Almighty God is more important than soccer or basketball or sleeping in. You can’t participate in that league if they require Sunday morning participation.” Shane adds, “I’ve realized that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with making teenagers go to church.”
That’s Christian parenting. It’s a shame if the kids have to miss out on sports or other activities, butwhat ifwhat if their souls are at stake? Is that a possibility? Parents ignore this piece of parenthood at their own peril, and at the possible expense of their children’s spiritual walk. Priorities matter, and your children are watching…and learning.

Teens are very connected to each other now and don’t need church to hook up anymore.
More could be said about this. We have largely forgotten in the church what real, authentic “community” is all about and why relationships founded on Jesus are far deeper than others. Shane makes the point that, “…there’s probably somewhere or something else that does community better than church.” Penitence is needed on the part of the church. We need to be in prayer about this one.

Unchurched teens see no significant difference between church kids and everyone else.
This was certainly true when I was a teen. The cruelest kids in my high school were often myself and other members of my church youth group. That isn’t to say we didn’t take Jesus seriously, but living that out is extraordinarily difficult.
As a parent and as a pastor, I see that teen members of the church I am serving are often just as drama-driven and hormone-driven as those who are “outside the church”. It’s heartbreaking but it’s true. I certainly need to be more intentional about mentoring these fine young people, whom I truly love. We all need to do better and be more more faithful.

Many teens get impatient with churches that major on the minors and try too hard to seem relevant.
Welcome to life in The United Methodist Church, where we have made this into an art form. We often teach our young people – either directly or indirectly – that aspects of the faith such as Jesus, his Lordship, Biblical study and reflection, and/or doctrine are secondary to ridding the world of malaria or to having an open heart, an open mind, and an open door.
Please don’t misunderstand me. Fighting malaria is a noble cause, and if a pastor or congregation is passionate about it, then I am all for it. Likewise, it is appropriate to be available to discuss “out of the mainstream” ideas and approaches to life.
But these ministries should not be emphasized at the expense of other pieces of our journey in faith. Teens are not stupid. They can see when we are “majoring on the minors” and, if necessary, they’ll find a community where all the means of grace are taken seriously, rather than just a few which have been carefully selected to be as least offensive as possible.

I commend to you Shane’s original post, and urge prayerful reflection on this important subject.

 

 


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